My nipple is on Facebook.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
