Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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