The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
