Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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