this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
