just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize