it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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