Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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