Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
