saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
