weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize