do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
