i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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