Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
