guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
