mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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