i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
