Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
