Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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