He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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