yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
