therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize