Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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