someone get that fucking seahorse.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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