i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
