Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
