69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
