Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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