yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize