my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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