No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
