When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
