This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just cropdusted the office
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize