dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
