I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
