Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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