I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
