Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Randomize
