My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
