laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
