That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
