How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
