I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
