I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
