I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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