people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sober January is a disaster.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
