At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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