The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
