I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize