There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
