I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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