i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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