Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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