i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
