oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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